Tuesday, January 15, 2013

timing // letters to baby m

if i had to describe this pregnancy in one word that word would certainly be surreal.  at 19 weeks i would've though that by now i'd have a slew of entries and photos and wishes jotted down everywhere.  it is such an overwhelming blessing that i don't even know what to do with myself half the time.  i am grateful beyond measure.

much to our surprise, we had no trouble getting this bump started.  as bazaar, and slightly awful, as it sounds...that caught us off guard.  we had wanted a family and had decided to start trying after we were married.  but we (maybe more me) was convinced it would take time.  lots of time.  it's all so rediculous but all so true.  i hardly even want to write that because i know how precious fertility is and how lucky mwm and i are to be blessed with it.  the only thing we could do was give ourselves up and trust in His timing.  i have never had to trust in His timing before.  it is a difficult thing.  i find myself wondering, how do i get this?  how are we so lucky?  the only thing i am able to do now is to give thanks every. single. day. for this miracle. 

so back to my orginal thought.  it is time to get my act in gear with the documenting before the "i wish i...'s" start.

6 weeks
baby- we cannot believe we got you so fast.  i am thinking about you all the time.  praying for you when i wake up, in the shower, in the car, before i go to bed.  i pray that you stay put and that everything goes well...

7 weeks
baby- i had my first doctor's appointment.  it's official, i'm knocked up!  farewell coffee, champagne, and prosciutto.  we get to see you in two weeks.  i took the earliest appointment possible.  i don't see how they expect me to wait two weeks to see you!

9 weeks
baby- you really are in there!  you look exactly like a gummy bear and you were dancing all around.  i could see your heartbeat on the screen.  my biggest fear subsided (a bit).  the doctor said that the appointment went "as well as we could have hoped for."  this is by far the more miraculous thing i have ever experienced.

13 weeks
baby- your dad got to see you for the first time today.  once again you were dancing up a storm!  you are already the best thing that has ever happened to us. 

16 weeks
baby- your dad and i are convinced you are a boy.  mainly because we've talked about our future little boy for so many years now and because for the first time in my life i've actually requested steak.  so if that's not a dead give away we're not sure what is.  i'm trying really hard to not refer to you as 'him' though, don't want you to go developing a complex already ;)

18 weeks
baby- you took your first trip to nyc.  i don't think you liked it so much because we threw up on the sidewalk.  weird, right?!  we've haven't done that in so long.  we will give that city another chance sometime soon.  you did get to meet my favorite people in the world though.  they all love you so much already.  showering you with gifts, wanting to be your godmother, daydreaming about taking trips with you and even having you be in their wedding.  i pray that you are blessed with friends like these.

january 15, 2013
hi baby- today we will find out if you are a boy or a girl.  or really, we will just confirm you are a boy.

photo via real simple

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