i believe if you put thoughts out into the universe, maybe in the form of prayers - maybe not (but isn't that what they are anyway? just without the label) with some positive energy, you will find the reassurance, guidance, or the answers you are yearning for.
i go back to school november 12th and have been struggling with this. this last year has been full of so many transitions and if i'm going to be honest, transitions ain't my thang. i am certainly a creature of habit and routine. to me, this past year has felt like a constant struggle between learning how to let go of little pieces of my old life and fully embrace this new life. and just when i feel like i've got this transition down and am at peace and truly enjoying this role, it's time to transition to a working mother. i've been putting on my bravest face and throwing out my most optimistic attitude and it does feel like the universe is reminding me that i am a teacher. little things have been popping up that reassure me, "you do love this".
have you heard of Humans of New York? it is GENIUS. i don't remember how i came upon it but i just love it. i've been following his instagram account and it is so inspiring. it celebrates the uniqueness of humankind. i keep wondering what it would be like to run into him on the streets and what he would ask me. but anyway. today he posted the following:
“There’s no better feeling than seeing the lightbulb go on. To know that there’s a new idea in a child’s head, and that you’re the one that put it there. But if any teacher is being honest, they will tell you that there is a small percentage of students-- that no matter how many times you go over something, they just won’t get it. And it burns you out. If you’re emotionally invested-- and if you aren’t emotionally invested, you’re not doing it right-- but if you are, it can burn you out.”
i'm sure if you wanted to you could say it's just a coincidence. ironic, even. but i believe it is something more. i have faith. this is by no means a giant flashing sign that saids, "it's ok to go back to work christina, you will all be fine". but it's things like this that i need. and hey, i'll take whatever i can get.